Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Regret nothing

Sup guise!

I am so happy I found time to blog again, I miss talking to this wonder box, especially hearing my readers that they also want to see some update with my blog.

As usual, it has been one hectic and tight schedule with work, not to mention I had a 5-day one on one lesson at my boss's house. I had no time for making up with myself or whatsoever, it was pure work with little rest however it was fun and a new experience for me. 

Lately, I have been in a tough relationship. A lot of people have been asking what and why's but I'm trying to avoid public questions or the virtual world, trying... but here I am, contemplating about it on the www. I guess it's okay for me to share my sorrows in this blog, after all it's personal so let me tell you the story, what happened and what's going on...

Recently, I installed an app called ---- It features sharing of languages from other nationalities and I met so many people; it's like tinder but in a much friendlier and clean environment. I had the app for additional students in my work so I usually market my English communication skills and most of them were Japanese. And then I met this guy, a surfer slash dance instructor who was on a business trip in the Philippines. At first, I didn't like him because he was demanding, he wanted to see me so badly and I had second thoughts because I was still dating my 6-year boyfriend. Shit gone crazy when suddenly I decided to go meet him on a cloudy Saturday afternoon, I traveled 6 hours to get to Baguio City and went there with only 200 php left in my pocket. It was a relief, I also dreadfully needed time to relax and get out of the chaotic life that time.

We ate out, talked and I was really surprised at how abruptly open and liberated he was in our first meeting. He grabbed my hand, hugged me continuously, kept holding my hand and even hugged me from my back which is my weak point (ladies, it's our weakpoint right?! haha). I remember songs were playing in the dim lit park; cool breeze and butterflies in my stomach; my hands were ice cold and I felt free rather than guilty. It was fantasy became reality. I felt a rush; like love, like chills in my spine but in a good way. It was a pleasurable moment for me... but, for him, it was nothing.

All these effort I did, I ruined my heart, my love with Sheff, my trust, my loyalty, my ego; all for nothing! Working for 8 and more hours plus the only chance I could skype with him, I did all that for love because I was falling... but later did I know, I fell and shattered into pieces. It was mere fantasy, just an illusion so I could feel pain again, so I could fall and rise back up somehow it made me think of how stupid I was and I can laugh it off. 

I remember I love you's, I remember promises, I remember he said to protect me and would never leave me even when time comes he will know who I truly am... Instead, he abandoned my heart, my doubts were unanswered and left me with only a goodbye and thank you.

Love can sometimes become disgusting but I regret nothing, I learned that no matter how depressing my life was, attaching a stranger won't fix depression instead experience and the people around me who stuck and gave me hope are the ones who can help. Depression may just be a word or fascination or mystery but I stood strong and I am still fighting it. I can cry it out loud and it will haunt me from time to time.

That guy was only an entity who made me realize that I can kill depression by laughing at his stupid ass. I regret nothing. I have been broken many times but I can continue to be hopeful and content. Anata no aho, I hope you'll overcome all the challenges in life because women are not fans, they are not for work, we are the ones who gave birth to you so respect each and every one of us, especially you don't know the battles we've been through.

Alas...

Experience is the best teacher.

Spectacles - Made in Korea, bought it because I broke my Emoda glasses T__T;
Tshirt - Santa Cruz. Thrift shop
Leather belt - Thrift shop
Pants - Forever 21
Boots - Dr. Martens


Sunday, July 12, 2015

Wear heels, lose stress

Hey guise!

Sup guise!

Ahh... I so miss blogging like the ole' days where I just have too much free time, especially travel writing. I haven't been traveling much and if I did it's because I have appointments and not a tiny bit interest to write about it.

I have just been working my ass off, searching for part-time jobs, making the most out of my time. I have dealt a lot of stress lately, it's been making my week so hellish but I stay positive all the time and I just had to say "FUCK THIS CITY, I'M GOING TO WEAR WHAT I WANT!" so I wore heels and this super cute dress I got at Forever21; by the way, the dress has been with me for a year now and it was a good time to share it to my readers hence the photographs went nice and the weather was cooperating well.

First of, I got these heels at a second hand shop or in tagalog terms ukay-ukay.  They look almost brand new and I love how comfortable they are, although not in hours and hours of standing or a T-rex chasing me, just NO. They also fit well in my feet and I have ootd plans in mind for these lovelies so watch out!

Without further adieu...

Dress - Forever 21
Heels - Thift shop

Monday, June 15, 2015

The White Witch

Hey guise.

How's it going? Am really excited to blog about this awesome dress I got from Dresslink Can you tell how gorgeous it looks? It looks kinda long for me but it fits just right over my shoulders. Dresslink has a lot of beautiful and affordable stuff, you name it: dresses, shoes, trousers, accessories and a whole lot more!

This dress is really comfortable to wear, not to mention the fabric is not too thin and not too thick. I like it's flowing style. I wore it with something edgy today. I think I can wear whatever I like with this dress. I paired it with black boots and some black accessories. I also paired it with pink mandals last time and curled my hair which gave a girly touch.

I would definitely wear this again, maybe at the beach or something like a cocktail party with high heels and straight hair. What do you think? Head on to Dresslink and find more affordable dresses.

So without further adieu...

Sunnies - Jean Paul Gaultier
Dress - Off Shoulder Dress from Dresslink
Shoes - Thrift shop
Bag - Thrift shop


Saturday, June 6, 2015

Normal Daze

Sup guise! It has been a rough week for me here in Tarlac City. A roller coaster ride with my dogs; having those moments where we can't decide what to eat and how to buy food lol It was just... a hell week but for some reason, made us strong and well, we are still alive! haha!

It's not the same as my life back in Davao. Now it's treacherous... hmm.. oh wait life's a bitch, always has been! but at the same time a learning experience. Instead of buying glorious things like clothes and shoes, I would just save my money and beg myself not to get tempted by these beautiful... items lol.

Most of the time, I'm just at home working so apparently this outfit was taken last weekend when I had date time with my senpai lol. It's definitely hot, from the looks of it, yes, hot as a stove! It's never going to be spring-ish here in Tarlac but, fingers crossed when December weather kicks in!

Okay so, still trying to adjust the Tarlaqueno life but I think I'm used to it now although I haven't worn something outrageous yet or have I... meh, we'll see in the coming of days.

So without further adieu...

Sunnies - Vogue
Shirt - Forever21
Pants - Levi's
Shoes - Dr. Martens


Friday, May 15, 2015

The Abandoned Hearts

SUP! guise.

It's typically sunny and hot in the Philippines. Wish it would just rain from time to time but not as chaotic as a storm. My look is a mix and match; I wanted to wear something that's breezy but not too revealing and also, avoid getting sweaty in the heat of this "May weather" hence it didn't stop me from sweating though, but I pulled off a more comfortable outfit while savoring the air condition inside the mall. Yes, I love this top from ZNU, it's my all time favorite top now!

How about you guys? what's up? Is your hometown feeling the summer vibe?

I miss the beach by the way. Missing the good ole' surfing and swimming life.

Sunnies - Jean Paul Gaultier
Blazer - Thrift shop
Lace top - http://www.znu.com/women-s/new-arrivals/midriff-baring-v-neck-ultrashort-half-lace-top-camisole.html
Shorts - Forever 21
Shoes - Thrift shop
Bag - Vintage from my Mom